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In these eight years I have grown tremendously and learned a few lessons about myself, love and the opposite sex. A guy could be blatantly flirting and I will mindlessly stare at him like he is a killer clown from outer space, leaving me petrified with fear. If the other person reciprocates, then mission accomplished. If not, at least you released your emotions instead of bottling them up.

Knowing that I can kill all the spiders in my apartment by my damn self makes me feel badass. I have my own set of tools, can carry an insane amount of groceries up a flight of stairs, put together an IKEA item, fix my toilet and finish an entire pizza by myself. Goals, yo. How much are you spending? How much are you saving? What are your plans for your money? These are all lessons I have learned the hard way. Like, the extra-hard, unnecessarily, what-the-hell -were-you-thinking kind of ways.

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Are you a veteran of L. We want to publish your story. My mom was perfect with her money. She made great money at her job, saved, paid bills on time, budgeted the spending for her and my dad, basically everything. My mom was a money wizard, and thankfully she taught me how to be as well. For me, depending on someone else financially is not an option, but if that is for you and you are happy living your life that way I am not judging you.

Even if you are, you still need to learn your money.

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The more they ignored me, the more I preferred them. Then in my late 20s I entered into my first serious relationship, which ended after two years. I had even bought a wedding dress, and for what? During my 20s I also attended a few different schools trying to find the right fit, all the while not realizing that I just needed to stop and figure out what I really wanted. Now, at 36, I know exactly what I want and am not settling for less.

And I wondered why I was attracting only jerks! Having a specific type limits your chances of attracting your person. Expecting someone to fulfill every expectation you have for the relationship is not so great. If there is a certain standard you have — i. Does that standard include expectations of his place having six bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a walk-in closet and a tiger on a leash in the backyard? See the difference? The man you meet may not be at mansion-living level but may possess all the qualities you want. Give him a chance, and you two can build that mansion together.

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Relationship goals, yo. Like the fact that I clean like Oprah is coming over for a visit. I crave alone time. Silence makes me happy. Now, are some of these aspects of myself qualities I am willing to change? Not really.

Essentially who I am as a person right now is who he is going to get, and we will change and grow together. More L. Affairs columns. I crave the silence of isolation sometimes. Being alone can feel lonely at times. Just me?

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We have to learn to be OK with being alone in order to fully appreciate what it means to have someone who wants to have us in their space. How beautiful is it when you are so amazing, there is a person who wants to share his precious alone time with you. Cassia Jones is a writer and actress who lives in Torrance and blogs at toliveanddateinla. To read the article in Spanish. A Affairs chronicles the dating scene in and around Los Angeles. If you have comments, or a true story to tell, us at LAAffairs latimes.

This is how I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. I knew she was the one when we began arguing -- over the election. All Sections.

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About Us. B2B Publishing. Business Visionaries. Hot Property. Times Events. Times Store. Facebook Twitter Show more sharing options Share Close extra sharing options. Living on your own is a must for everyone … especially women. By Cassia Jones.

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