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You need help, you are addicted to this and the pain that he creates. It is not a cycle you can break on your own, you need psychological help. You are not crazy, but you need to correct your actions now. Your post first re that you are upset because this you want out of your life has been flirting with other women. Then you say that you really want him out of your life anyway and you are hoping he actually gets with someone to achieve that.

What you are really saying is that you are addicted to this, and you want him to change, you want to be the one to fix him, the one he changes for.

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You don't want him to move on because if he becomes happy with someone, then you have failed. Your sense of self worth is dependent on fixing other people and them being forever grateful to you.

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This is sick logic, it is something that is usually learned during childhood, it's beyond codependency. Here is the real issue, this guy knows how weak you are, and it gives him all the power he needs. This idea of hoping he moves on with someone only work until they discover his true self and send him packing.

You always be the person he runs back to, because he can. You forever be under his control, no matter where he is until you actually let go. You need to reclaim your life. The house means nothing, as you always be a prisoner in it. If you are truly ready to get better and reclaim your life, start today, find an exit strategy, get rid of the excuses, and let go of this forever. I have lived this, it is hell on earth, but you have the power to live again.

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